Come here my Hot Dog
by Sho'Jo Untainted
Summary: Ryou is sick of Bakura messing up the house up while he is at school. So! Ryou buys Bakura a puppy to love and care for! But Bakura has other plans for it. The Pharaoh is the first target. PROBLEM: All it does is hump Yami’s leg!
1. A chicken or a Hot Dog?

G day Guys….

I sware I have never dreamed of having 3 stories up on I got like 2 other stories! I'm so happy! Ok some of you are like "Yeah, well I got like 5 stories" well for me this is a big thing! I'm really worried that some one else has this same kinda story line as this one and people will throw things at me… Its 40 degrease outside and I'm not going out unless I want to die, bloody hell it's hot! OK well as I said this is my third story, and I can't play footy because of the weather…whatever.

Well I hope you enjoy it -. (Jesus I ramble on!)

Here we go…..

Disclaimer: Don't own Yugioh….Or "Sex and the city"

Ryou Bakura opened the door to his house, and smiled.

"Bakura! I'm home!" he yelled, putting the keys on the side table and walked in, putting his school bag on the floor and taking off his shoes.

There was a loud flush, and then several other thuds, some swearing and a slam of the door.

/What is he doing// Ryou asked himself sighing

There were a few more thuds and Ryou was able to see his Yami drenched from head to toe.

"RYOU!" yelled Bakura running downstairs, holding his hands out to hug his light.

Ryou raised an eye brow

"What did you do?"

Bakura stopped in front of him and looked confused.

"Ryou whatever do you mean?" he asked, trying to make his smile angelic.

"You're not on the lounge eating, and you're actually glad to see me, and besides that you're wet!" Ryou said crossing his arms

"What? Can a Yami not be happy to see his light after a long day at school? " asked Bakura

"No" came a simple reply

Ryou walked past Bakura and began to slowly walk upstairs; not believing any of the bull shit his Yami was telling him. As Ryou got closer and closer to the top of the stairs the floor was a damper colour and Ryou's socks were damp.

"Bakura what did you spill?" Ryou asked looking down the stairs to see Bakura draining out his hair.

Bakura looked up and looked up at him

"Uhh." Bakura rolled up his sleeve quickly.

"Ryou! Look at the time! It's like 4.89PM! I promised Marik I would meet him at the uhh Soap bar to have some cheese" Bakura said hitting his head and turning around to walk away.

"Bye Ryou!"

Ryou rolled his eyes

"First of all Bakura, you don't own a watch, second of all there is no such time as 4.89, third of all you cant have CHEESE at a SOAP BAR! Is there even such thing as a SOAP BAR?" yelled Ryou

Bakura stopped.

"OK, Ryou you see" Bakura's amazing lying mind went into well. Lying mode!

"Ryou, when your at school, I feel so lonely here, there is nothing to do. I was just trying to find some fun without murdering the Pharaoh" Bakura said closing his eyes and crossing his arms

Ryou felt a jolt of sympathy through him

"Then why didn't you tell me Bakura? "

Bakura put his hand on his head dramatically

"Because! I know_ my_ light has much more important things to do than look after little old me" he said slouching

Ryou felt horrible

"Oh Bakura, I didn't know you felt that way" he said sighing

Bakura turned around and smiled evilly

/Is the Pharaoh's light as dumb as this/ he asked himself

"NO ITS OK RYOU!" he said tragically beginning to walk out the door.

Ryou sighed as he ran down the stairs, an idea popping in to his head.

"I got it!" Ryou said smiling and walking up to Bakura who had put spit on his face to make it look like he had been crying.

"What?"

"Close your eyes, your never going to be bored again"…

3---------------------------------------------------------------

Ryou smiled

"Ok you can open your eyes" he said happily

"What's that fucked up smell? And why is it so loud in here!" asked Bakura slowly talking his hands off his eyes.

As he opened his eyes and freaked.

Ryou smiled

"It's a pet store Kura! You can choose a pet, that way you won't be bored and destroy my house while I'm at school!" he said smiling.

Bakura looked at him

"You're kidding right?" he said

Ryou shook his head

"It's a great idea, you can teach it to do tricks!" Ryou said smiling "And even protect the house from anyone breaking in!"

"Oh nononn, look I saw this on "Sex and the City" the guy wanted to get a puppy before they had a baby! You'll want a baby next wont you?" Bakura yelled

Several people in the store looked at the two white haired boys.

Ryou hit his head.

"I can't have babies Bakura" he said quietly

Bakura looked at him.

"You can do anything if you believe in it!" he said smiling

"Walt Disney movies" Ryou mumbled to himself

Bakura looked around at all the different animals

"Well I guess a pet isn't THAT bad an idea. Just don't expect me to clean after it, or feed it, or play with it, or brush it"

Ryou got mad

"THAT'S THE WHOLE POINT OF GETTING A PET!" Ryou yelled

Bakura huffed

"Fine"

And began to walk around.

"Hum hum hum, looking for a pet, for my tum tum tum" Bakura sang to himself as he walk past the mice section.

Ryou walked up to the man at the register.

"Uh excuse me?" Ryou said

"Can I help you?" he asked'

"Yes I'm looking for a pet for my uhh. Brother." Ryou said smiling

The man nodded

"Can you describe your brother?"

Ryou smiled

"Well he isn't really reliable; we need something that is strong….

Bakura looked through the glass at the tadpole.

"Why in Ra's name do they look so familiar?" he asked himself.

He walked on to hear a croaky voice.

"Ahhh! Polly wants a cracker!" came a yell

Bakura turned around to see a white cockatoo.

"Who's Polly?" asked Bakura to the bird

"AHH, Polly wants a cracker!" it said again

"WELL IF YOU TELL ME WHO POLLY IS ILL GIVE HIM A FUCKING CRACKER!" Bakura yelled angrily.

"And it has to be independent" Finished Ryou

The man sighed

"Kid, the only thing I can think of that comes close to what you need is a cockroach, it's said that can survive through nuclear blasts" he said

"Bakura has big feet" Ryou said sighing.

…

Bakura smiled at the cockatoo

"Can you say, I'm the pharaoh and I'm a snot nose bastard with spiky hair?"

The bird looked at him

"Pharaoh, snot nose bastard, spiky hair"

Bakura clapped his hands

"Ok now can you say..."RYOU GET ME A ROOT BEER?

"Ahhh! Ryou, get me root beer!" came a reply

Bakura smiled

"I think I found my pet"

Ryou was looking for Bakura through the many boxes of animals. Ryou walked past the puppy pen and sighed

"Naww aren't they so cute!" he said looking at them all.

He knelt down and put out his hands for it to be licked by one of the cutest puppies he had ever seen.

"NAW!" Ryou said his eyes all sparkly.

He picked it up.

"Come one, your coming home with me"

Bakura looked around

"I'm going to get this chicken!" he said smiling at the bird

He looked around for a leash to put the bird on.

"RYOU! I FOUND WHAT I WANT!"

A man came around

"Sir, have you found what you want?" asked the same man at the register

"Yeah! How much for the chicken?" asked Bakura looking at him

The man looked confused and then remembered some of the things that Ryou had said about Bakura

"The cockatoo is $67 dollars" he said

Bakura nodded.

Ryou came around the corner with the puppy in his hands and stopped.

"Bakura, you want a cockatoo?"

Bakura nodded

"Yeah the chicken!" he said smiling

Ryou sighed

"But Bakura, I want to get the puppy look at it!" Ryou put the puppy on the floor. It was white with brown spots. The breed was Cavalier King Charles. It had a brown spot on its head, and one on its eye. Its eyes were black and oh so cute! And its tail was so tiny!

**A/N: If you have seen "Lady and the trap" it's the same breed of dog as the girl one.**

"It's a hot dog?" Bakura asked raising an eyebrow

"It's adorable!" Ryou said smiling

Bakura sighed

"But I want the chicken!" he said in a moan.

Ryou sighed

"OK Bakura, if that's what makes you happy" he said pouting.

Bakura looked at the parrot.

/Chicken or Light, Chicken or light, Chicken or light. Well the chicken repeats anything I say, but Ryou feeds me. But if I'm hungry ill just eat the chicken! …But then I won't have a pet and Ryou will get grumpy./

"Ryou" Bakura said suddenly

Ryou turned around

"Ok we will get the hot dog" Bakura said sighing

'OH BAKURA THANKYOU!" Ryou said hugging him.

…**ON the way home.**

Bakura held the puppy in his hands as Ryou undone the leash. The puppy licking Bakura's face

"GROSE FRENCH KISSING!" he said yelling at the dog

"Bad hot dog!" he said annoyed

Ryou smiled

"Naww Bakura you look adorable! Holding the puppy so close" Ryou said smiling

Bakura rolled his eyes

"Yeah, yeah, rub it in"

Ryou smiled

"Bakura is going to be great you can teach it tricks and even how to bark and attack people, but not this dog."

Bakura's mind went into imaginary mode. With the puppy attacking the stick figured Pharaoh! Blood and guts were going everywhere and Bakura standing there laughing.

Bakura shook his head and an evil smile came across his face.

"You know what Ryou, having this hot dog as a pet might not be such a bad idea after all"

Done! Well there it is the first chapter. Please don't bag me out! Basically Bakura is going to try and teach the dog to kill the pharaoh! Please review! And ill update as soon as I can -. Sorry if it sucked!

Again please review

Cheers

Brookers


	2. I shall name you HOT DOG!

G day all.

I'm glad that guy guys enjoyed the last chapter. But PLEASE REVIEW! Pretty please with like sugar and candy and other nice foods on top.

Thanks

Disclaimer: don't own Yugioh.

**I shall name you HOT DOG!**

Bakura was on the floor of his room, and stared at the puppy that looked innocently back. Bakura squinted his eyes, annoyed.

"RYOU THE DOG IS GIVING ME DEATH STARES! AND ITS MAKING ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABLE!" he yelled

He looked at the dog

"I knew I should have gotten the chicken but oh no, the LIGHT had to get you!" he yelled at it.

The puppy just looked at him with those big black eyes.

Bakura crossed his arms. His plan with the pharaoh, being ripped apart replaying in his mind.

"Come on boy attack me!" Bakura said putting his hand in front of the dog's mouth, who just stared at it and began to lick it.

"NO!" yelled Bakura ripping his hands away.

"Bad hot dog!" he yelled pointing the finger at it

Ryou came in and smiled happily…as he usually does.

"Bakura we have to name it" he said sitting next to Bakura

The puppy ran into Ryou's arms.

"Isn't he just adorable?" Ryou said look at Bakura who rolled his eyes.

"Yeah just adorable, I sware Ryou some times I think you have ovaries" Bakura said mumbling to himself

"I like the name….. Edward!" he said looking at the puppy smiling

"EDWARD? Oh dear Ra Ryou your not serious are you?"

"Why what's wrong with it? I think it's a sweet name" replied Ryou looking at his Yami

"The poor dog will get Edward the uhhh MEDWARD!"

Ryou crossed his arms.

"Ok then genius, you find a name" he said putting the dog in Bakura's arms and walked off.

Bakura looked at the dog and smiled.

"I shall cal you The Pharaoh Is A Mother Fucker!"

He put the dog down and walked a few steps back, keeping eye contact with the dog.

"COME HERE! THE PHARAOH IS A MOTHER FUCKER!" he yelled smiling

"AND NO NAMES INVOLVING YAMI!" came a yell from down stairs

Bakura sighed

"FIIINNNNNEEEEE! MOTHER!" he said moaning and yelling at the same time.

"Stupid hikari, think he know everything, good for nothing PMS!" he yelled slamming his door.

He looked at the tiny puppy on the floor.

"And what are you looking at?" he asked looking at the dog while he collapsed on his bed.

"I could have gotten a chicken but NOOOOO I get a fucking! HOT DOG!" he yelled

He sat up and looked at the puppy, still in the same spot.

"ILL CALL YOU HOT DOG!" he yelled happily.

He went a few steps back.

"COME HERE HOT DOG COME HERE!" he said smiling

The dog looked at the Tombrobber for a few moments before running up to him.

Bakura picked him up and smiled.

"Now lets teach you some tricks!" he said smiling

_ring ring ring ring_

"Hello?" asked Ryou picking up the phone

"Ryou, it's Yugi" came the reply

"Hey Yugi, how are you?" Ryou asked smiling

"Uh fine, you haven't seen Yami anywhere have you?" asked Yugi who sounded worried on the other line.

As Ryou was talking on the phone Bakura walked with the dog in his arms.

Bakura froze

/fuck! I forgot about him/ the tombrobber thought

Ryou shook his head

"No Yugi sorry, ill ask Bakura"

Ryou looked at his Yami

"Bakura you haven't seen Yami have you?"

"Yami? Why would I want to see the dip uuhh shitted pharaoh?" he said lying

Ryou's eyes narrowed

Bakura smiled, again trying to make it angelic.

Bakura slowly began to walk backwards and up the stairs into his room and opened his wardrobe to find the Pharaoh, drenched with water, roped tied behind his back and tape on his mouth.

"I forgot to get rid of you!" he yelled ripping the tape off

"TOMBROBBER! You mother fucking son of a

"Yeah yeah whatever, you have to get out of here" Bakura said untying the ropes

Yami looked at him

"Why, I'm going to go down stairs and tell Ryou…

"NO! Yami there is no time!" Bakura said shocked

"What's wrong?" asked Yami, his eyes narrowed.

"There, there was a robbery! At Yugi's game store!" Bakura said Un- tying the ropes

"There was? Then why didn't Yugi just mind link me?" yelled Yami

Bakura put his hand to his head frantically

"Because he wanted to show his Yami what a strong boy he was! As soon as I remembered about our play date earlier I came straight here" he said dramatically.

Yami looked at him

"My Ra! Bakura! Yugi! What do I do?" Yami yelled

"RUN PHAROAH RUN! But don't let Ryou see you! Because then he would want to have tea and all that shit he does!" Bakura said

Yami stood up

"Thanks Bakura, I wont be seen!" he yelled running out of the room.

Bakura smiled as he closed the door and looked at the dog

"My fucking Ra his so fucking stupid"

**IN THE BACK YARD!**

Bakura was getting frustrated

"LOOK! Its simple Hot Dog look!" he said holding up a holler hoop.

"I set the hoop on fire, you run THROUGH the hoop and onto the other side" Bakura said angrily.

The puppy stood there innocently

"Look were _not_ going to make it to the Olympics with you just sitting there are we?" Bakura asked the dog.

The dog looked at him.

"Don't give me that look of corse there is such thing!" he yelled

Bakura sighed

"Fine, ill teach you how to kill the pharaoh" he said mumbling something as he got a dummy version of the Pharaoh. Button eyes, Lego as a puzzle and a very realistic version of Yami's hair.

Bakura looked at Hot Dog.

"I cut this off when he was asleep" he said smiling referring to the hair.

He put the dummy on the pole and stood forward.

"This! My friend is Yami, he was a Pharaoh, and frankly I don't like Pharaohs. Do you?" he asked looking at the dog who just sat there looking at him wagging his tail.

"I thought not!" he finished

"You will learn to beat the shit out of it! Kill it."

He got some random book from Ryou's huge library about dogs and smiled as he attempted to read it upside down. Even thought Bakura could not read.

"Now it says here that dogs have a sense of smell bla bla bla"

Bakura looked up from the book.

"Hmm what does the Pharaoh smell like?" he asked himself.

A cheeky smiled came across his face as he began to run.

"STAY!" he said smiling as he ran inside.

Seconds later the white haired teen came bolting out with a bottle of Hair Gel.

Bakura stood in front of the dog and put the hair gel to its nose.

"This! My friend is what the Pharaoh smells like!" he said smiling.

He rubbed the gel all over the dummy. Bakura stood a few metres back and yelled.

"OK HOT DOGS ATTACK!" he said pointing to the pharaoh.

The dog looked at his master, then at the dummy and began to walk up to it.

"THAT'S IT!" Bakura yelled happily

Ryou looked from the back door and sighed.

"We should have gotten him the cockatoo" he said releasing another sigh.

The door walked up to the foot of the dummy Pharaoh and sniffed it a few times.

What happened next was un- expected.

The dog sniffed the dummies feet a few times more, Bakura's eyes full of hope.

Then doge then began to hump the Pharaohs foot.

"Eh?" Bakura said rasing an eye brow as he watched his dog jack off on Yami's leg.

Bakura hit himself on the head.

"NO!" he yelled at the top of his lungs.

He ripped the dog off the dummy

"Bad Hot Dog, go to your room!" he yelled

The dog just starred and waged its tail.

He felt tears come to his eyes.

"You're not a dog! Your just like…like..like RYOU!" he yelled dramatically.

The dog licked his face

Bakura looked at the puppy letting him lick his face. He sighed.

"I guess humping the Pharaoh can have its advantages" he said looking at it.

Bakura wiped the wetness off his cheek and looked at the small creature in his arms.

"Its ok Hot Dogs, it takes a while to get the hang of it" he sighed

As he walked up the stairs leading indoors an idea popped into his head.

/If Hot Dog can't be a fighter maybe her children can!"/

He looked at the dog

"Hot Dog you just gave me an idea!"

The dog stared at him

"Yes I know! And it's better than the Olympic!" he said smiling.

"Well its logic! If you go and fuck a shark or a dinosaur and have babies! They will be aggressive! The Pharaoh will surely die!" he said smiling

"TO THE AQUARIUM!" he said running inside and past Ryou

"Going to the Aquarium Ryou! Taking Hot Dogs!" he yelled grabbing the leash and running outside.

Bakura put the leash on the dog and smiled as he walked down the street.

/No worries Hot Dog! You're going to be a wild machine in no time!"

There we go!

Hope you liked it, sorry if it sucked. I'm going to be really mean and say hmmmm

5 reviews for an update mwhahaha! Oh well it's my birthday soon!

Oh! Merry Christmas!

Hope you liked it!

Brooke


	3. Swimming With the Fishes

G day guys!

OK I said after 5 reviews….and I got them in 2 days OK that's a good thing! Thankyou all so much! For the kind reviews and keep em coming! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. OK so heres the next chapter,I feel so sorry for the dog!

Swimming with the fishes.

Bakura looked at Hot Dogs and then forward, to see the blue painted aquarium, and then back at Hot Dogs. Bakura smiled in delight.

"Here we are hot dogs! This is an aquarium! It's a place where fish, octamopusers, sharks, dinosaurs and breakfast cereals all live" Bakura said walking through the blue doors, to be greeted by many glass doors and inside them as many fish all swimming around.

The tomb robber looked around and then walked to the desk with a teenage girl on the phone.

"Yeah and any way he was like oh my God! And I was like Yeah!"

Bakura coughed

The girl looked at him and sighed.

"Ill call you back" before putting the phone in the cradle.

"Welcome to Domino Aquarium, how can I help you?" she asked with no enthusiasm in her voice.

"Uh yeah, where are the sharks?" Bakura asked looking around with the dog in his right arm.

The girl looked at him.

"Sir is that a dog with you?" she asked looking over the counted to see the tiny thing in the tomb robbers arms.

"Ahhhhhhhhh, nooooo" Bakura said, his brain going into lying mode.

"Sir, it's clear it's a dog. Dogs are not allowed in here"

Bakura swore

"But..I wanted to show him the sharks" Bakura replied in an innocent voice.

"Sir, I will have to ask you to either get rid of the dog or leave" came the cold response.

Bakura looked at the dog that looked back at him and began to lick his hand that was holding him.

"But…

"Now" she said firmly

Bakura rolled his eyes and held the dog close.

"FINE! Ill get rid of the dog" he said walking out of the door.

Outside

Bakura kneeled in front of the dog and patted him.

"Don't worry Hot Dogs, you think that the invincible, sexy, and uhh, invincible Bakura would give up just like that?" he said smiling

The dog barked and waged it tail.

"Yes I know I said invincible twice smart ass" he said rolling his eyes.

Bakura then looked to his right to see a woman with a stroller with a baby inside walk straight inside the Aquarium.

That evil smile Bakura gets when he has a plan came back. He looked around and held the dog close.

"Ey kids" he said to some kids randomly walking past.

The kids turned around.

"Wanna earn something really cool?" Bakura asked approaching the two kids that were walking by.

"Depends, how cool is it?"asked one

"So cool, that oh my Ra. It's like so much better than 5 bucks!" he said smiling

The two kids smiled.

"Were listening"

"OK a few seconds ago a woman walked in with a stroller, I want to take my dog in there for reasons I will not tell stupid bogger pickig kids like you. I need that pram thingy that holds a baby" he said looking at them

"You want us to STEAM the woman's baby?" they both yelled together

Bakrua nodded

"Yeeeap! Pretty much!" he said smiling.

The two kids looked at each other.

"OK, what are we getting?"

Bakura sighed

"Fine…" Bakura said digging into his pocket

"I have no cash" he said watching the two kids faces become suspicious.

"All I got is this" he said passing the kids a golden cup with jewels all over it

"THE HOLY GRAIL!" they both yelled gasping.

"uh yeah" Bakura said rolling his eyes

"How! Did you get this? People have been looking for centuries for this!" one of the kids yelled

Bakura rolled his eyes

"Are you here to ask questions or get me a pram?" Bakura said annoyed

"Yes sir!" the kids said running off

Bakura looked at the dog.

"Don't give me that look! Of corse it's an ingenious plan!"

The dog stared at him

Bakura looked at the door, to see very soon; two boys come running with a blue pram.

"Here you go!" they both yelled

Bakura looked at them and smiled

"Did you get caught!"

One of the kids smiled

"Nup! The mum doesn't even know!"

Bakura smiled as he looked in it, his expression fading as soon as he saw what was inside the pram…..

"You didn't get rid of the baby?" Bakura yelled snapping his attention to the two puffed out boys.

"YOU TOLD US TO GET THE PRAM!" the kids yelled back.

Bakura picked up the kid who was crying by now

"Ugly little thing" he said passing it to one of the kids.

He then got Hot Dogs and put him in the pram

"OK give the lady her baby back, apparently they mean something"

The kids freaked

"You want US! To give a woman back her baby we just stole?"

Bakura looked at them innocently

"Yeah and?"

The kids swore as Bakura began to walk off with the dog in the pram. He walked into the aquarium to see a woman crying and loads of policemen. He walked right past them humming something about death and the Pharaoh.

He walked up to the desk the girl on the phone.

"Hello" he said smiling

The girl sighed

"You again what do you want?"

Bakura coughed

"I would like to take my uhhh son and myself to the sharks" he said smiling

The woman gave him an eye

"You look like 16?" she said annoyed.

"I couldn't keep my hands of him..I mean her" he said smiling

She looked down in the pram to see the dogs head.

"Your baby is like hairy" she said her look making Bakura in his soul room piss himself laughing.

"He takes after his in laws" Bakura smiled, thinking off the Pharaoh.

The woman sighed.

"Fine ill let you in, but only because your kinda cute" she said examining the boy.

"Whatever" came the response as Bakura ran down the hall with the pram.

The woman whose baby was lost looked at Bakura run away with the stroller

"THAT MAN STOLE MY BABY!" she yelled pointing to Bakura

The police looked at her

"You sure?"

She nodded

The police began to run to catch up with the thief who was practically flying with the pram.

It was only minutes before Bakura and hot dogs were in front of the sharks. Bakura held the puppy close.

"OK so how do we get through the glass?" he said banging it

"STOP POLICE!" yelled a man running after him

Bakura looked to see the police and sighed.

"Oh Ra"

He put hot dogs in his jacket and began to bolt past people.

"STOP THAT KID!" yelled the police.

Everyone who was in the aquarium at that time all attempted to catch the thief king, but he out ran them all of them. He continued to run, having no idea why these people were trying to catch him.

"WHAT DID I DO?" he yelled back to the police

"You stole the womans baby!" they yelled "Stop now!"

Bakura stopped

"I didn't steal!...

But he was cut off by 4 police officers tackeling him to the flor. As they were on him Bakura freaked.

"Hot Dogs!" he screamed remembering that Bakura had put him in his jacket.

As the police yelled at him to lye still Bakura got the puppy that was being trampled on and let it go.

"RUN HOT DOGS RUN!" But the dog just stayed there.

Bakura punched on the of the police. And frantically looked at the puppy.

"Hot Dogs RUN!" he yelled being trampled by 2 other police.

A tiny yelp of a bark came from the dog. The police didn't even notice. It yelped again, as he watched his master being brutally bashed on the floor.

"LEAVE ME ALONE I DIDN'T STEAL HER KID!" he screamed

The dog watched as his master was being bashed rapidly by men trying to pin him down. Hot Dogs then ran up and yelped again. But done nothing. It then done something unexpected…..

MAHWHAH! I'm sorry, I had to leave it there. What is Hot Dogs gonna do! Well the only way your going to find out is by clicking the purple button and reviewing! Sorry it was very quickly done,I promised after 5 reviews and I'm going away to the beach tomorrow for Christmas, and the new Year. But ill update then, ill be away for 10 days and yeah! Sorry about all the splling mistakes and I don't think it was that good but I thought I might update before I left!

Merry Christmas! Guys!

Remember REVIEW!

Brookers


	4. The adventures of Bakura and Hot Dogs!

G DAY!

I hope you all had a really cool Chrissie and a great New Year. I've been at the beach! And now I'm back to reality and updating. The aim is to update ALL my stories before my b day (7th of Jan). I would have updated yesterday but coughs CERTAIN- MALES-AT-COLES-GAVE-ME-A-BLODDY-NOSE! And I was dizzy ;D NE WAY! Thanks for the reviews lol I know it's a really stupid story but like I'm stupid so it fits, and I can't see myself writing anything BUT stupid fics. SO ENJOY!

Disclaimer: Don't own anything……….

Oh just a warning, some of the things Bakura does with the dog in this chappi and some of the words used aren't well lets just say its kinda grose. U HAVE BEEN WARNED!

The Adventures of Bakura and Hot Dogs

**Before:**

"LEAVE ME ALONE I DIDN'T STEAL HER KID!" he screamed

The dog watched as his master was being bashed rapidly by men trying to pin him down. Hot Dogs then ran up and yelped again. But done nothing. It then done something unexpected…..

**Now:**

Bakura wasn't about to give up, and on the other hand neither were the police. The dog lifted up its leg before Bakura, who recently punched a police officer, saw this and raised an eyebrow

"It's a boy!" he yelled looking at the dog

The police stopped as they felt wetness on their body, form sum unknown thing.

"What the?"

the police all turned around in confusion, the wrestling stopping suddenly.

"OH! That's just nasty! Sir please control your dog!" yelled a police officer at Bakura who was cracking up laughing

"PISS HOT DOG PISS!" Bakura yelled as the police officers began to wipe the piss off em, and off the floor.

The dog began to bark and Bakura managed to get to his feet as the police officers stumbled and tried to run after the boy, though failing because they were slipping over due to the wetness on the ground, caused by the dog who was shaking his leg.

"SIR STOP NOW!" yelled one of the police

Bakura picked up the dog and began to bolt with it down the hall…

"HOT DOGS!" Bakura yelled laughing running past tanks and smiling.

"I NEVER KNEW YOU WERE A GUY!"

Bakura stood in front of his dog in the backyard and walked in front of him.

"Due to the sudden circumstances we are no longer allowed in the aquarium" he said walking around in circles around the dog.

"And because you are a boy. We will have to find you a girl dog because you need a girl to have a baby…I think…."

Bakura held out his trusty dog guide and turned it upside down….

"Dm dum Food, water, brushing ahh!..BREEDING!" he said happily

He pretended to read it and smiled

"Just as I though we need to find you a girlfriend!" he said smiling

The dog barked

"OF CORSE THEY WOULD BE ATTRACTED TO YOU!" he yelled patting him

"Remember you're my dog? Automatically any property of Bakura is sexy"

The dog barked again

"No, that does not include Ryou…

AT HOME!

Bakura sat on the lounge patting his dog, watching TV. He smiled as he saw that annoying kid on the "OREO " add with his stupid dog. Telling him how "Chocolate wasn't good for dogs, and milk was"

Bakura laughed

"What a load of bullshit" he mumbled to himself

He turned to his dog, and laughed.

"Chocolate is good for dogs right?"

The dog barked

"I thought so!" Bakura took a bite from last weeks ham and a sip of root beer.

"Stupid kid doesn't know jack shit, I mean who wants milk?" he told the dog.

The dog looked at him and began to lick his hand.

"You know what Hot Dog you're a good listener. I can tell you anything and you won't laugh at me….Unlike Ryou"

The dog looked at him with a glare. With that Bakura held out the ham and smiled.

"Wanna bite?"

The Dog automatically began to tare the ham apart.

"Wow your hungry aren't you little fella, well that could be because of the whole aquarium thing. Boy I'm so proud of you, you're a regular pisser! Just like your old man!" he said looking at the dog tare the ham to pieces.

Bakura took a sip of root bear and put the bottle in front of the dog.

"Drink?" he asked

The dog began to lick the rim of the bottle…the part where you put your mouth. Bakura shrugged as he took the root beer away and began to drink again.

THAT NIGHT! In the bathroom.

Bakura held the dog as he looked at his pearly white teeth.

"How are your teeth?" he asked the dog who was looking in the mirror.

He put Hot Dogs in the sink and opened the poor dog's mouth.

"Say ahhh" Bakura said sticking his toothbrush down the through of the dog, just like dentists have done on TV shows.

The dog made a sad and unpleasant noise

"Oh stop complaining! I've seen it on movies 100 times! You can trust me!" He said moving hi toothbrush around his mouth.

The dog pulled his mouth out and growled at Bakura

"Ok! OK! You're not a dental person" he sighed.

Bakura then shakily put some toothpaste on HIS OWN toothbrush and looked at hotdogs in a way that would make any person feel a bit queasy

"Just say ahhhhhhhhhh once more. Ryou said to me it's important that you clean your teeth or bad people like the Pharaoh start to live in them. You don't want that do you?" he asked smiling

The dog looked at him form inside the bathroom sink

"I thought not" and with that the tomb robber grabbed his mouth and began to brush the dogs teeth…

SOON AFTER

"SPIT!" Bakura said happily

The dog was going frantic and Bakura got some water and cleaned out his mouth

"GOOD BOY!" he said patting him after the torture was over.

Soon after that Bakura got the toothbrush he just used and began to use it for his own teeth, now really giving a shit he had just shared a toothbrush with a dog!

Bakura walked out of the door with Hot Dogs and walked into the kitchen passing Ryou.

"Oh look Hot Dogs its _Ryou_" he said sarcastically

Ryou looked up and smiled

"Hello Bakura, Hello Hot Dogs"

"Say hello" Bakura said using Hot Dog's paw to wave

"Hello Hot Dogs" Ryou said kindly and laughing at the same time

Ryou smiled

"Bakura I have good news! I called the vet and he said we can have Hot Dogs De- sexed the day after tomorrow if we are lucky" Ryou said

"De Sexed?" Bakura asked confused

"Yeah, its when uhhh its when, the dog's thing is kind of "handled with" so he can't go around and having babies" he said blushing a bit

Bakura was in shock

"YOU'RE GOING TO CUT HIS DICK OFF!" he screamed at the top of his lungs.

Ryou sighed

"No Bakura his not..

"HOW COULD YOU DO THIS? ALL HOT DOGS DONE WAS LIKE YOU AND THIS IS HOW YOU REPAY HIM! CUTTING THE ONLY THING HE HAS PRIDE IN OFF!" he yelled

Ryou sighed

"Bakura hear me out…

Bakura hugged Hot Dogs

"If you get his dick off…then YOUR GONNA HAVE TO GET MINE OFF TOO!" he said holding the dog tight.

Ryou laughed

"Bakura, listen to me!" he said calmly

"GOOD DAY TO YOU SIR!" Bakura said storming upstairs and into his room, slamming the door.

He put the puppy on his bed and lye on it himself.

"I can't believe Ryou wants to do that to you boy! It's like chopping off girls boobs! They have so much pride in them!" he said looking at his roof.

The dog walked over and began to lick his face. Bakura just letting him go.

/What do I do? With Hot Dogs dick gone, I can't get him to have babies! And then those babies can't beat the shit out of the Pharaoh and that means I'm at square one/ he thought to himself.

He looked at the dog

"Don't worry Hot dogs, I promise I wont let mean old Ryou even touch you. Ill talk to Marik and ask him. Well get you laid before you can count to elephant ok?"

The dog looked at him with those huge eyes

"Yes I promise, tomorrow you and a lucky lady are gonna be jacking off one another!" he said smiling

Bakura looked up and undone the covers to his bed before taking off his top and lying down on the mattress.

"DO you need pj's? Because I stole some of the pharaohs" he said smiling at the memory of the Pharaoh being tortured.

The dog wagged his tail

"OK"

He turned off the light and cradled into his bed and put Hot Dogs on the pillow next to him.

"Don't worry Hot Dogs, I promise you'll have sex in no time..But where?"

The dog lye down in silence as Bakura though

Suddenly it hit him

"A DOG SHOW THERE ARE PLENTY OF GIRLS THERE!"

He turned over looking at the dog

"Tomorrow, you, me and Marik are going to a dog show!

DONE!

Hope you liked it…well at least a bit. Please review, because I'm gonna tough well try to any way. It's my b day on sat so please be nice, ill review as son as I can! But again the only way ill review is if you press the little purple button! PPPLLLLEEEAAAASSSEEEEEEEEE

OK until then all

Hoo roo

"THAT'S GOLD!"


	5. The End?

. Well I'm not going to bother with excuses. hands out rocks. I did this for my other stories, for every one who reviews- gets a rock and get to throw it at me, and this is for not updating in so long.

Disclaimer: Don't own Yugioh

**Note: It's short and corney :P**

**The End?**

_Beep Beep Beep Beep_, came the noisy alarm reading 6.00am.

Bakura moaned, scratching his head and slowly sat up looking at the dark room around him. He smiled as he saw the tiny creature curled up in a ball on the Tomb robber's feet breathing slowly.

"Wakie Wakie Hot Dogs!" Bakura said shaking the dog roughly until he jerked awake.

"Today is the day of days! The day where you find a foxy lady and get her pregnant!"

Bakura practically jumped out of bed, with Hot Dogs in his hands and into the bathroom. Placing the dog down, Bakura walked to the shower and thumbed with the taps, turning the water on.

Bakura then turned to the innocent looking dog on the floor.

"Hot Dogs, because you are my friend I shall give you a lesson on women, from the love master over here. "

The dog barked

"Yes I am gay! BUT Ryou's is pretty much a female any way!"

"I heard that!" came a reply from outside the bathroom.

The former Tomb robber jerked

"BUT I LOVE HIM OH SO VERY MUCH AND HE MAKES THE BEESSSTTTTT URR CAKES AND I LOVE HIM…" he said in a very mechanic tone.

Removing the last bit of clothing Bakura walked into the shower leaving the door open.

"You coming in or not?" came a yell.

Hot Dogs ran into the shower after his master as the Tomb robber closed the shower door.

_Inside Shower _

Bakura looked down at the drenched dog and laughed.

"Hot Dog you look like a drenched dog all wet like that!" he said laughing

The dog just sat there staring at its owner.

"You know what Hot Dogs, I've only known you for a couple of days, but you're the best friend any Tomb robber could ask for!"

Bakura was about to say another comment, when suddenly Ryou said something into mind link that made Bakura turn even paler than he was.

/Kura... The Police and Animal Control are here… They want you to bring Hot Dogs to the lounge room/

/It was the Pharaoh I sware.. I have nothing to do with that…... WHAT/

Ryou spoke calmly

/Kura, just bring the dog, they are threatening to knock down the door if they have to/

/Let them knock down the fucking door. They aren't coming near me or Hot Dog/

Bakura decided to ignore the other threats Ryou had to say and soon enough there was a loud bang. The door was on the floor and 3 men came in.

"MR BAKURA! THIS IS SARGENT PETERSON! GET OUT OF THE SHOWER RIGHT NOW!"

Bakura rolled his eyes, turned off the taps and walked out of the shower, standing in front of the men naked.

"Mr Bakura, I am Sargent Peterson from Domino Police"

He pointed to the man next to him

"This is my partner Bryan…

Bakura interrupted

"Oh you're gay too? Congratulations"

He then pointed to another men dressed in brown

"And this is Sam from the Domino Pound; we have to seriously talk to you about you and your pet"

Bakura who at the time was still standing naked in front of the men and looked in the shower seeing the drenched dog in front of him

"Stay" he whispered.

He then turned his attention to the three men

"What dog? I don't own any dog" he asked confused

Sargent Peterson took off his hat and massaged his temple.

"Mr Bakura, I don't have time for your games, get the dog and meet us three in the lounge room please"

Bakura shrugged

"Ok fine, but don't expect me to bring a dog because I don't have one!"

The sergeant looked at the other two men who slowly exited the room. Suddenly he ran up to the tomb robber and threw him against the tiled wall, holding his arm under Bakura's chin.

"That wasn't a question Mr Bakura, I said to get your dog and get out here _now_" he said coldly.

Bakura looked at the cop right in the eye and spoke…

"I don't have a dog. And even if I did. I wouldn't let some one like _you_ take him away"

The cop laughed. His orange beard against the tomb robber's chin.

"Some one like me?" he asked coldly "You have 10 seconds to get a towel on, get that dog, and meet us in the lounge or your dog wont be the only one taken away"

Peterson let Bakura go who sighed and gave the cop the finger as he walked out. His attention then turned to the dog who sat there obediently.

"Just stay there Hot Dogs" Bakura whispered grabbing a towel and walking out.

Bakrua sat next to Ryou, on the couch looking at the three men on the opposite side of the room, drinking tea Ryou had made.

"Mr Bakura, you have only completed one part of my instructions. I said to come here _with _the dog….

Bakura sighed

"I tell you once; I don't understand you police, I DON'T HAVE A FUCKING DOG!"

Sam- the pound guy got up and walked around

"Here doggie, doggie, doggie, doggie" he said walking around with a dog treat in his hand.

Bakura's grip tightened on the towel as nerves got the better of him.

/Stay Hot Dog, just stay/ he thought to himself.

Sam disappeared leaving the two police. Sargent Peterson spoke

"Mr Bakura do you know WHY we are here today?"

Bakura shrugged

"Bakura you have broken over 7 laws on your dog. In other words, you are either using your dog inappropriately or treating your pet badly… Animal Cruelty"

"Read them out" he said rolling his eyes

Bryan got out a piece of paper and put on some glasses.

"Number 1: Buying a pet from an illegal pet store"

Ryou spoke up this time

"Wait that's not fair! How are we meant to know of the store was illegal?"

Bryan ignored this

"Number 2: Putting your pet in danger with explosives and or fire"

Bakura's mind travelled to the time where Bakura was trying to get Hot Dog to go through the hoop of fire.

"Number 3: Trying to take a pet into the Aquarium after being warned several times"

"Number 4: Using children to break the law and steal"

"Number 5: Using stolen property"

"Number 6: Failing to stop for Police when they asked you to"

And

"Number 7: Trying to teach your dog to attack a specific individual"

Bakura stared at Ryan who put the paper down. Soon after, Sam was back with a little creature wrapped in a towel and in his arms.

"Look what I found in the shower" he said smiling sitting down.

Bakura flinched as Peterson smiled.

"Well Mr Bakura, is there anything else you would like to say before we take your dog away"

Bakura got up and stared at the three men.

/Shit/ He thought to himself

Suddenly the pale angel sitting next to him smiled as his words of wisdom went into the thief's mind and out his mouth.

"Here you are taking MY dog away. Where you have people all over the world slaving THEIR animals away day after day, not feeding them, and not loving them. You have the nerve to come into MY house and tell me what I can and can't do with my dog! That's UN American! All I ever done was love Hot Dog and he…

"Wait hold on, you named your dog "Hot dog" asked Peterson

Bakura nodded

There was a snicker from the men.

Peterson got up

"Mr Bakura, you deserve to be in jail!"

Sam walked to Bakura and held Hot Dog out to him.

"You can say one last goodbye"

Bakura got the dog and held it close

"I don't know what I done wrong boy…. I though I read the manual right."

The dog looked at him

"Yes I know I can't read…smart ass"

The Tomb robber began to blink very quickly as looked at the dogs brown eyes.

Sam came and began to take the dog off Bakura who was struggling to give it back.

"Don't worry boy…ill get you back" he said sniffing

The men left with Hot Dogs barking whilst Bakura looked through the window of the house. One hand on the window Bakura didn't even understand what he had done wrong, let alone these guys taking the dog off him.

Ryou came and put a hand on his shoulder.

"Don't worry Kura, we will get you another pet"

Bakura looked at Ryou and brow eyes depressed.

"I don't want another pet. I want Hot Dogs" Bakura said walking up stairs and into his room.

As Bakura lye on his bed down at the floor he saw the collar with the name "Hot Dog" on it. The Tomb robber grabbed it and held it close.

"Don't worry Hot Dogs, I'm going to get you back. If it's the last thing I do"

Sargent Peterson, Bryan and Sam smiled as the dog yelped in the back.

"Man I can't believe Bakura fell for that! Just like that! He didn't even put up a fight!" said Sargent Peterson with a very different voice

Bryan and Sam smiled

"Oh this is soo sweet! Can you imagine Yami's face when he sees that we actually got the dog?"

DONE

OK that was a very….interesting coughcorney…..chapter. Who are these three dick heads? And will Bakura ever see his beloved Hot Dogs! Only way you know is if you

Don't throw rocks at me so I don't die

REVIEW

I'm on holidays and bored. So the quicker you all review, the sooner you get the rst of the story

Until then

Hoo roo

Brookems


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